Tears

I cried yesterday for the first time in months, maybe even the first time in a year. I mean a good old fashioned Kristen cry were I just keep breathing in and can't seem to let any air out. I think it scared David and confused him thoroughly.

Why the breakdown? Everything is about to change. There will be a baby in this house in 2 1/2 weeks or less. A BOY baby. My girl baby who I've adored and loved is turning into a toddler. She is testing her waters, started hitting this week, runs away when she is called for, and goes limp when you try to pick her up. I'm not ready to tackle this new stage at 9 months pregnant, but I don't imagine I will be much more ready with a baby sized incision in my belly, little sleep, and a new infant to figure out. Nina hasn't been napping well and I feel a sense of guilt that I'm not correctly providing her need of rest. I don't know how to help her get better daytime sleep, it has been going on for weeks now, and I miss my time during naps. And I miss her waking up happy from naps. I am also not packed for the hospital, baby boy's nursery is a disaster zone, i have many unfinished projects laying around...

HOWEVER I am excited. I know I want this new addition to our family. I can't wait to meet him. I'm excited to watch Nina learn to love and share life with another. Siblings are great blessings. I am so thankful for my family. My loving husband. My sweet, healthy, and growingly independent daughter, and for my patient heavenly Father who oversees this chaotic and beautiful family.